By Corvo Rohwer, Puyallup Tribal News
Families in the Tribal community gathered again for food and forum during the fifth monthly parent engagement night on May 21. This session focused on the topic of self-regulation and conscious discipline, with a presentation hosted by Early Intervention Behavioral Assistant Wynonna Toeaina.
After a brief icebreaker, Toeaina began her presentation on how to model conscious discipline and self-regulation. Using the teachings and lessons from books by Rebecca Bailey such as “Managing Emotional Mayhem: The Five Steps for Self-Regulation” and “Conscious Discipline” as a foundation, Toeaina explored how parents can begin to make positive changes in their own behaviors and discipline strategies.
“The conscious shift is going to be that controlling and changing myself is possible, and that it will have a profound impact on others,” Toeaina said.
Instead of focusing on dominance, she said establishing connection and understanding is the key to building more effective behavioral change. By having a clearer mind and regulating your own behaviors first, you can become a model and teacher for the other people in your life, she said.
“When you’re disconnected and you’re just telling them, ‘Well, it’s my house, and you do this my way or the highway,’ it just fuels the fire of oppositional defiance,” Toeaina said. “It’s an opportunity to teach them exactly how you want them to speak to you, exactly how you want them to do things, exactly how you want them to do this, that or the next.”
Toeaina said it is valuable for her to be able to attend Tribal community forum events because it is a place where parents and their families can come to find judgement-free support.
“I really enjoy being a part of these parent engagement nights because we have really good reflective conversation. And one of the main things is to be able to be here at a safe place and talk about those things without judgment,” Toeaina said.
The Wrap Around Program will continue to host parent engagement nights as a monthly series, with the next session taking place June 18 at the Little Wild Wolves Youth and Community Center. For more information, look out for an event flyer on social media or check the calendar on the Tribal website at www.puyalluptribe-nsn.gov.
